What is a habit?
A habit is a behaviour that becomes automatic through repetition, often triggered by a specific cue or situation. The behaviour may begin as a conscious choice, but over time, the brain learns to perform it with little conscious effort.
This is why habits can feel so ingrained; they are designed to save mental energy and run on ‘autopilot’. In fact, recent studies show that around two-thirds of our daily behaviours are automatic, triggered by timings or settings.
If such actions help you meet goals, they are usually considered healthy habits, for instance, staying hydrated or eating healthy snacks. Equally, behaviours that work against your aims are typically viewed as ‘bad’ habits. Bad habits examples might include biting your nails or scrolling on your phone in bed.
However, importantly, habits are not always inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Habits simply reflect what your brain has learned to do on repeat. For this reason, from a coaching viewpoint, habits tend to be best understood as adaptations.
Why habits may feel hard to change
Habits often begin as a way of coping, offering stress-relief, distraction from discomfort, or a sense of control during times of uncertainty. Put simply, habits often continue because they offer some type of reward – they become reinforced due to their emotional connection. Unhealthy habits can feel even more difficult to change if:
- they are linked to stress or fatigue
- they feel like character traits
- self-criticism, shame, or self-blame is part of the habit cycle
Relying on willpower alone when changing behaviours often overlooks the emotional, environmental, and social influences at play. For instance, there may be financial barriers that make change feel out of reach. Alternatively, you may be influenced by the opinions of friends or rely on the habit to help you cope with difficult emotions.
Recognising this can help reframe habit changes as a process of understanding yourself and what the habit gives you, not just the cost involved.
How long to break a habit?
There is no single answer to the question of how long it takes to break a habit. You may have heard people say it takes ‘21 days to build a habit’ or ‘90 days to make a permanent lifestyle change’. However, research suggests the reality is much more varied than this.
Studies show the time to change or form a habit can vary from 18 to 254 days. In fact, on average, habits take around 66 days to feel more automatic. However, not all habits – or people – follow the exact same timeline. This is because other factors may play a role when considering how to build healthy habits or how long you think it ‘should’ take to break an old one. It also explains why comparing your own progress to others may feel disheartening or discouraging.
Recognising this often shifts the question from "How long should this take?" to "What’s influencing this habit right now?"
What influences how quickly habits change?
How quickly habits change can be shaped by several factors, including:
- Behaviour complexity: A new habit that is simple or quick (such as drinking a glass of water with your lunch) tends to form faster than more complex ones, for instance, going for a 30-minute run three times a week.
- Perceived reward: Breaking habits linked to emotional comfort often takes longer to shift because of the reward the behaviour offers.
- Beliefs and expectations: Unhelpful thinking styles, like perfectionism or ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking, can bring progress to a grinding halt.
- Environment: Certain routines and surroundings can trigger habitual behaviours, either helping or hindering habit changes.
- Stress: Stress can make you default to ‘autopilot’ routines, slowing down habit changes.
These elements are crucial when considering timescales for how to build healthy habits. Understanding and exploring these influences means that you can develop a realistic expectation for how long it could take to either break or make a new habit.
How to build healthy habits
Healthy habits are often framed as something you ‘should’ be doing. However, coaching takes a different view, focusing on whether a habit aligns with your values. So, rather than seeing it as another thing you should be doing, it may be helpful to consider whether the new behaviour is something you want to do.
Good habits tend to feel more sustainable if they:
- fit into your existing life rather than requiring you to overhaul your entire day
- feel meaningful or enjoyable rather than an obligation
- allow for flexibility
- are connected to things that matter to you
It may also help to consider your current energy levels, responsibilities, and whether the habit will support you in the way you need.
In other words, making a subtle mental shift from “I should be doing this” to “This new habit will help me feel supported today” can make changing habits feel much more achievable.
How to break a habit
When people begin searching online for ‘How to break bad habits’, they are often hoping to find relief from behaviours that feel frustrating, confusing, or difficult to stop. Yet, habits rarely change through force, willpower, or self-criticism alone.
In fact, studies show that self-compassion, rather than harsh self-criticism, can help you continue progressing even in the face of setbacks.
Approaching ways of how to get rid of bad habits with awareness and curiosity can be a helpful starting point for many people. This involves understanding the habit, for example:
- when the habit shows up
- what triggers the behaviour
- what the habit currently offers you as a reward or benefit, for example, stress relief
Once you understand the habit, it becomes easier to see what adjustments or support you may need to feel more confident changing automatic behaviours. Changing a habit then becomes a learning and development process, rather than something that must be ‘fixed.’
Remember, breaking a habit doesn’t always mean eliminating it completely. For many people, progress looks like reducing how frequently the habitual behaviour arises, lessening its impact, and learning to respond to it differently over time.
How habit coaching can help
If you’ve been wondering how to build healthy habits and are looking for support, coaching could provide a way forward. Coaching for habit change offers you a supportive space to explore behaviour patterns without pressure to ‘get it right’.
A coach doesn’t tell you which habits to change or how quickly to change them. Instead, they work alongside you to increase your self-awareness, understand your choices, and develop self-trust.
Habit coaching may help you:
- understand your habits
- discover your motivations
- notice patterns non-judgmentally
- clarify your priorities and values
- explore what feels realistic within your life right now
- approach the process with curiosity rather than criticism
At its core, coaching is about exploration, supporting personal growth, and self-directed change at your own pace, making it well-suited to working with habits and development.
Where to find a coach
Life coaches often work both online and in person, with many offering an initial, no-obligation consultation to help you decide whether they may be right for you.
We list verified coaches from across the UK who can support you with habits, routines, and lifestyle changes. You can search by location, coaching style, and availability to find someone who meets your specific needs and preferences.
Frequently asked questions about habits
How long does it take to break a habit?
There is no fixed timeline for stopping a habit. Research shows habit change can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days. This variation depends on the person, the habit, and the present circumstances.
Do bad habits reflect a lack of willpower?
No, habits are often influenced by emotions, stress, repetition, and environmental cues. They are not a personal failing.
Can coaching help with unhealthy habits?
Yes, it can. Coaching supports reflection, awareness, and recognising choices rather than forcing you to change or dictating solutions.
Working with habits for sustainable change
Habits are a natural part of being human; they help you move through life without having to think about every single thing you do. However, certain habits may develop that feel frustrating or limiting. Understanding how to build healthy habits – and why unhealthy habits often feel difficult to change – can help ease harsh self-judgement and allow space for kinder and sustainable change.
Habit coaching doesn’t offer promises of quick fixes. Instead, it provides you with support, perspective, and permission to move at a pace that feels right for you. Over time, this process can help habits shift naturally through self-awareness rather than forced pressure.
