Family coaching

What is family coaching?

Family coaching follows the same basic concept as all other types of coaching: guiding a person from where they are to where they want to be. Just as a business coach might help restructure a team or advise a manager on communication techniques, a family coach can work with all members of a family. They can help to find out where the problems are and what changes can be made to reach a happy medium.

Family coaching sessions are designed to keep disputes as rational as possible. When we let our emotions get the better of us, arguments can easily turn into shouting matches. A coach will ensure any arguments that arise between family members during a family coaching session are kept as structured, fair and valid as possible so that everybody has a chance to have their say.

What is a family life coach? 

A family coach, also known as a family life coach, supports families in improving how they communicate, solve problems and work together. They focus on helping families create a more positive dynamic. The aim is to help family members better understand one another and develop practical ways to support a healthier family environment. 

What does a family coach do?

A family coach works with families to improve family communication, strengthen relationships and help resolve ongoing challenges. Sessions with a family coach can involve parents, children, or extended family working together to explore what is happening and identify practical ways to move forward together.

Rather than focusing on past events, family coaching typically looks at what changes could be made to help family life feel more balanced and supportive. A family coach might do this by helping families develop healthier communication, set clearer boundaries, or navigate through difficult periods such as separation or divorce, parenting challenges, or major life transitions. 

When might families seek coaching?

Problems within a family can be so much more distressing than in other areas of our lives. Perhaps you're arguing more and more, and home is feeling like a battle zone. Family coaching is especially effective when family opinion is divided. A family coach can help all family members understand where the others are coming from, so a balance can be found between addressing practicalities and enjoying life.

But, it's not solely conflict that creates issues within families. Perhaps you think you and your family's life could do with a slight shake-up, and are looking for support in kick-starting some positive changes in the family routine.

Some reasons people seek family coaching include:

• resolving marital problems
• addressing work/life balance
• bringing up children 
• dealing with difficult teenage behaviour
• dealing with life after separation or divorce

Common family challenges coaching can help with

There are a number of common issues that coaching can help with. Here are some common challenges family coaching can help with. Family coaching may support families experiencing challenges such as:

• parenting challenges
• difficult teenage behaviour
• separation or divorce
• family conflict or communication difficulties
• adjusting after bereavement or loss
• finding a healthier work-life balance

Supporting parents with burnout and parenting challenges

There are many reasons why parents seek coaching. It can be due to the difficult behaviour of a child, parental burnout, or many other reasons. The transition to being a parent and looking after a child is a time filled with changing roles and identities. Parent coaching aims to help parents create a healthy, happy and balanced family life for themselves and their children.

Seeking support does not mean you aren't fulfilling your role as a parent - it means you are doing the best you can to provide the happiest life possible for yourself and your child.

Support children through life transitions, big family changes, and learning how to communicate healthily 

Sometimes, for one reason or another, children need a little extra support. If your discipline strategies aren’t working or your child’s behaviour is starting to affect other areas of life, such as their performance at school or your social life, it can become frustrating.

A family coach can help everyone get to grips with their emotions and learn how these emotions might be affecting everyone else. Once communication lines have been improved, misunderstandings can be cleared up, and family members can learn to be more honest with one another.

Help teenagers learn mutual respect, communication, and navigating change

The teenage years can often be difficult for the whole family to deal with. A combination of raging hormones, school stresses, peer problems, and the natural fight for independence can quickly turn the home into a battleground. 

A family coach can work with parents and teenagers together in order to establish mutual respect, clearer boundaries and a greater understanding of each other. A family coach can help both teenagers and parents to see life from the other's point of view.

Help families cope with affairs and betrayals

It can be incredibly distressing to discover that your partner – the person you chose to share your life and start a family with – has betrayed you in some way. It can shake up your whole life, making you question everything.

Sometimes, couples find it impossible to patch up the damage caused by a major relationship betrayal and choose to separate or divorce. However, other couples will try to find ways to tackle the problems and stay together. When this happens, a family coach can help families recover from betrayal.

Unlike counsellors and psychotherapists, family coaches do not try to get to the root of why a betrayal occurred. The idea of family coaching is not to place blame on one another or to discuss what happened; the idea is to move forward by configuring a new family dynamic. A family coach will develop certain interactive exercises and techniques to rebuild those trust bonds and help families recover from a big shake-up.

Help families with separation and/or divorce

There are many reasons why a couple may choose to separate; ultimately, divorce or separation is the final stage in accepting that a relationship no longer works. Some people say that separation from a long-term relationship is one of the toughest experiences to deal with.

Moving on can be particularly tough if you have to remain in contact with your ex-partner, for instance, if you have children together. You will likely still see or speak to one another in order for the parenting relationship to continue. A family coach can help families to transition through a divorce or separation, to limit hurt and upset.

Help families come to terms with bereavement and loss

Coaching can offer support during times of transition - and losing a loved one is one of the hardest transitions we go through. A family coach can help you understand the turmoil of these conflicting emotions, and any intermittent, out-of-character behaviour they may cause.

Grief can have a profound effect on the family unit. But working with a coach can help the whole family adjust and make sure that everyone feels supported.

Help families learn to prioritise a work/life balance

Being in a long-term relationship or having children doesn't necessarily mean you have to put your career goals on hold – you may just have to think more carefully about your work/life balance.

Family coaching can be a great tool for families to work on achieving this together, as it offers everyone the chance to get together in the same room and set out exactly how they feel. Family coaching sessions are designed to get everyone's opinions out in the open so a good compromise can be reached.

Frequently asked questions about family coaching

Is family coaching the same as family therapy?

Family coaching and family therapy aren't the same. Family coaching, with the help of a family coach, focuses on helping families move forward by improving communication and developing practical solutions to challenges. Family therapy, with the help of a family therapist or counsellor, may explore deeper emotional or psychological concerns. 

Who attends family coaching sessions?

Family coaching sessions can be tailored to meet your specific needs. They may involve parents, children, or the whole family visiting a family coach, depending on your situation. Some sessions may focus more on helping parents, while others may focus on children, or getting everyone involved to work together to improve communication and relationships. 

Can family coaching help with parenting challenges?

Many families seek coaching when they are facing parenting challenges, such as difficult behaviour, communication difficulties, or family conflict. Coaching can help families to explore different approaches, develop routines, or try new strategies that support a healthier family dynamic. 

When should a family consider coaching?

Knowing if coaching is right for you and your family is a personal decision. Families may consider coaching if they feel that communication has broken down, when they want support improving relationships or routines at home, or when they are navigating a major life change. 

Finding a family coach

You may have reservations about inviting a stranger to observe how you and your family interact together. It can feel unnerving to think that your life is being judged, or that you might be blamed for anything that went wrong.

But family coaches are not there to judge or to point fingers. They are there to put things into perspective so that everyone can see the situation as a whole and learn to accept the part they play. Once everyone accepts that things need to change, the whole family can think of ways to move on positively together.

It’s essential that the whole family connects with and has a good rapport with your coach - there is more than just your own opinion to consider here. If one of you doesn't respect or agree with them, then how are you going to make successful changes?

You can click on a coach’s name to find out more about them, along with their contact details and fees. The best way to really know if a family coach is right for you, though, is to meet with them and trust your instincts.