What is grief coaching?
Losing a loved one can feel incomprehensible for many. Bringing up a range of emotions, including anger, guilt, disbelief and loneliness, coping with grief isn’t an easy thing. And, as coach Nancy Everson explains, it can affect us all differently.
“Grief is different for everyone. While people might experience similar feelings at times, there is no one journey or timeframe for someone experiencing loss and grief. Some people experiencing grief find it difficult to speak openly and honestly about their loss with friends and family, for fear of upsetting or worrying them, or because they feel society wants them to 'get on with life'.”
In these instances, speaking with a professional – someone who is impartial – can be helpful. Coaching can support you while you look at the impact of your loss, how you might begin moving forward and adapting to how life has changed. Grief coaching can provide a safe space where you can talk, start working through your emotions and set goals to help you move forward at your own pace.
Grief coaching can also be thought of as a way of rediscovering what’s been taken away from you through loss, such as self-confidence and motivation. Working with a coach can help you feel like yourself again, while honouring the memory of your loved one. The pain of loss may never truly leave you, but making space around it and being able to live your life to the fullest is the best tribute.
Other types of grief
When we hear grief, we predominantly think of bereavement and losing someone, however, there are other areas in our lives where we may experience grief.
Divorce and relationship break-ups
When a relationship comes to an end, there is often a sense of grief around the loss of that relationship. It can take its toll emotionally and feel very similar to bereavement. Grief coaches often work with those going through divorce, and relationship break-ups, as well as with alienated parents. Relationship coaches can help you come to terms with what’s happened and help you rebuild your confidence and self-esteem.
Parental alienation can occur when one parent deliberately undermines the relationship between a child and the other parent, often through manipulation, emotional manipulation, or creating a toxic environment of distrust. This experience can be deeply painful and confusing, leaving the targeted parent feeling isolated, rejected, and heartbroken.
Those affected by parental alienation often face intense grief, not only for the loss of their relationship with their child but also for the emotional and psychological toll it takes. Feelings of helplessness, guilt, anger, sadness, and shame may arise as they struggle to reconcile the loss of connection and the unjustified rejection they face. A grief coach can help a person navigate these painful emotions, find ways to process their grief, and rebuild a sense of self-worth and resilience despite the ongoing challenges.
“Divorce can be a profound loss like no other. The person you committed to spending the rest of your life with, in some cases (if you have no children together or other ties), can leave your life and you may never see them again. To all intents and purposes, they may as well have died.”
Redundancy
Losing a job unexpectedly can leave anyone reeling. If you enjoyed the job and it was a big part of your career journey, having it taken away from you can lead to a sense of grief. There may be a mourning period for what you’ve lost before you’re able to pick yourself up and start looking for other options. Working with a grief coach can help you to work through feelings of anger and grief around being made redundant. It can also be helpful to work with a life coach, career coach, or redundancy coach who can help set goals that will move you forward in your career, finding a new role that suits your strengths.
Life transitions
There are moments in our lives that shift our sense of self. These may include children growing up and moving out (leading to empty nest syndrome) and retirement. When these transitions happen, they can bring our identity into question as we consider who we are outside of these roles. These changes in roles and shifts in our sense of self can leave lingering feelings of grief and loss. Working with a coach can help you reconnect with your values and your true self, so you feel calm and confident moving into these new stages of life.
Chronic illness
Being diagnosed with a chronic illness can be a life-changing moment for many. There may be new restrictions to everyday life to contend with, leading to a great sense of loss. Again, working with a coach here can help you cope with the loss and find a way to move forward.
What do grief coaches do?
Grief coaches can help provide support and guidance to those navigating grief and loss. A grief coach can help you try new goal-setting strategies to help you navigate grief, focusing on moving forward with purpose.
What is the difference between grief counselling and grief coaching?
If you’re looking for a professional to help you cope with grief, you’ll notice there are different options available, including grief counselling and grief coaching. Typically, counselling is more focused on reflecting on past events and managing the difficult emotions that come with loss.
Grief coaching can also support you with managing your emotions without necessarily looking back at your past in detail. A grief coach can support you in moving forward to your desired future. Through coaching, you can identify how you want your life to be, and with emotional and practical support, coaching can help you set goals to make your desired outcome into reality.
For some, grief coaching is more about turning to the right support at the right time. Grief is an intensely personal experience where there is no single right solution or pathway to try. Finding the right professional to support you is key.
In the early days after my loss, I sought therapy. It was really helpful for enabling me to survive the trauma of loss and cope with my grief. When I was ready to move forward, I turned to coaching. As a result of coaching, I found ways to move from surviving to thriving and use my experience for personal growth.
What to expect from a grief coach
If you decide grief coaching is the right approach for you, it can be helpful to have an idea of what to expect from your session. Each person's grief is unique. Many coaches tailor their sessions to meet the unique needs of the individual.
The role of a grief coach is to listen, validate how you are feeling, and help you to identify the direction you want to move towards. A coach may help you to reflect back on what you are saying and ask questions to help you find new perspectives. They aren't there to tell you what to do, instead helping support and help you find a way to move forward in a way that feels right for you.
Finding a grief coach
Finding someone you feel comfortable sharing with is essential for any coaching relationship, and this is true of grief coaching. Take time to search for coaches who may be able to help, read more about them and send an enquiry to learn more. Many coaches will happily talk to you about what you’re seeking help with to ensure they are the right fit for you.
Know that you are not alone in your loss and that moving forward is possible.
