Why is changing habits so difficult?
Changing habits can feel hard. Even when we know something might be better for us, making that change – whether it’s something big or small – isn’t always straightforward. Many of us start with the best intentions, stick to a new routine for a few days or weeks, then find ourselves slipping back into old, unhelpful habits. It's easy to blame ourselves when this happens, but the reality is that changing habits takes time.
In fact, studies have found it can take anywhere from two to five months to develop health-related habits. But why does changing habits feel so difficult?
Habit formation is a natural process that helps our brains make everyday behaviours more automatic. Over time, our brains carry out these behaviours with little thought, responding to cues or triggers such as a specific time of day, place, or emotion. This is why habit formation can work in our favour when we're building helpful routines, but it can also make unhelpful habits feel comfortable and trickier to break.
Many people try to change habits through willpower alone. While motivation can help us get started, it naturally comes and goes, meaning willpower isn't always enough. Lasting habit change is often supported by creating routines that fit your lifestyle, rather than relying on daily motivation.
Habits can also become part of how we see ourselves. If you think of yourself as someone who’s disorganised, procrastinates, or struggles with routines, changing those behaviours can feel like trying to change part of your identity. Add in all-or-nothing thinking where one missed day feels like you’ve failed, and it’s easy to lose momentum.
The world around you also plays a part. The people you spend time with and your daily routines can support or discourage the habits you’re trying to build. Recognising these influences can help you towards lasting, sustainable change.
What does a habit change coach do?
A habit change coach works with you to understand the habits you want to change and helps you create practical, realistic ways to make those changes stick. Rather than telling you what to do or offering a one-size-fits-all solution, coaching is a collaborative process. Together, you'll explore your aspirations, recognise what's getting in the way, and make changes that fit your lifestyle.
Whether you want to break unhelpful habits, build healthier routines or become more consistent in working towards your goals, a habit change coach can help you find an approach that works for you. By understanding your current habits, values and motivations, they can help you create change that feels achievable.
Alongside encouragement and support, a habit change coach can also provide accountability. Regular check-ins give you the opportunity to celebrate progress, talk through any challenges, and adapt your approach if something isn't working. Rather than viewing setbacks as failures, coaching encourages curiosity and learning, helping you build confidence as you work towards lasting change.
How can coaching help you break old habits and make new ones?
Changing habits often takes more than simply ‘trying harder’. Habit change coaching can help you to understand the behaviours, routines and thought patterns that affect your daily life. By exploring these together, you can start making changes that feel realistic and manageable.
A habit change coach can help you:
Understanding what's keeping you stuck
Before you can start making changes, a coach can work with you to recognise unhelpful habits, triggers, and patterns. By understanding what's driving these behaviours, you can identify what's holding you back and explore practical ways to move forward.
Building habits that fit your life
Instead of expecting you to change your whole routine, a coach can help you build habits that will work with your existing lifestyle. This could include introducing micro-habits (small actions that are easy to repeat and build confidence over time), habit stacking, or recognising challenging areas and working with them to make sustainable change.
‘If you already drink coffee each morning, consider stacking a new habit right afterwards. Anchoring a new habit to an established one provides a natural cue, making it easier to remember and repeat.’
- The science of habit formation: how to build lasting change
Creating realistic goals
Sometimes, our long-term goals can feel a little too overwhelming. Breaking them down into smaller, achievable steps can make them feel much more manageable. A coach can help you focus on steady progress, building confidence and maintaining momentum as your habits develop.
Accountability and support
Working with a coach helps provide regular check-in opportunities. This gives you the chance to celebrate progress, reflect on challenges, and adjust your approach as needed. Having someone to encourage and support you can make it easier to stay focused even when motivation starts to dip.
Learning from setbacks
Setbacks are a normal part of creating new habits. Rather than seeing them as failures or feeling guilty for not succeeding the first time, coaching encourages you to reflect, learn and adapt. By understanding what didn't work and making small adjustments, you can keep moving forward without losing sight of your priorities.
Is habit change coaching right for you?
Habit change coaching can support anyone who’s looking to make long-term changes, but isn’t sure how to make them stick. Whether you're working towards a personal goal or looking to make changes in your professional life, coaching offers personalised support to help you build healthier habits.
You might benefit from coaching if you:
- want to break unhelpful or unhealthy habits;
- find it difficult to keep new habits going consistently;
- feel stuck due to procrastination or all-or-nothing thinking;
- want to build a healthier routine that fits your lifestyle;
- struggle to stay motivated after the initial excitement wanes;
- aren’t sure where to get started, or how to break things into manageable steps;
- want more structure and accountability;
- are looking for practical, sustainable ways to create change that lasts;
- have tried to change habits before, but find yourself relying on old patterns.
What to expect from habit change coaching
No two coaching experiences are exactly the same. Each coach has their own approach and will take into account your goals and experiences to help build habits that work for you.
Your first session
Many coaches offer an initial discovery call before you commit to coaching sessions. This gives you the chance to discuss your goals, ask questions and find out whether their approach feels like the right fit.
How often will sessions take place?
Sessions can take place in person or online, and can vary in length. Many coaches offer 45-60 minute sessions. How often sessions are depends on what works for you. Some people have sessions weekly, others fortnightly or monthly. During each session, you will typically explore your progress and any challenges you have faced. Together, you can then identify the next practical steps.
What happens between sessions?
Your coach might encourage you to try new strategies, reflect on your habits between sessions, or even set tasks for you to try at home. The aim is to help you build the confidence to put your new routine into practice.
Reviewing your progress
As sessions progress, you will regularly review what’s working and where adjustments might be helpful. These check-ins can provide accountability, create space to celebrate successes, and help you stay on track.
Frequently asked questions about habit change coaching
How long does it take to change a habit?
There’s no set timeline for changing a habit. It varies from person to person, depending on the habits you are trying to change. Rather than focusing on how quickly change can happen, habit coaching encourages steady, sustainable progress.
Do I need a specific goal before starting habit coaching?
Not everyone had a specific goal before starting coaching. While having a goal in mind can be helpful, many people begin by knowing that they want to make changes, but are not sure where to start. A coach can help you explore what’s important to you, areas you’d like to improve, and figure out how you can start to achieve that.
Can coaching help me break unhealthy habits?
Habit coaching can help you understand the patterns, triggers, and routines behind unhelpful or unhealthy habits. Instead of relying on willpower, a coach works with you to develop practical, long-term strategies and healthier alternatives that can fit your lifestyle.
What’s the difference between habit coaching and health coaching?
While there can be some overlap, habit coaching focuses on changing behaviours and building sustainable routines across different areas of life. Health coaching usually focuses on improving health and wellbeing, supporting goals such as healthy eating, physical activity, and sleep, as well as managing long-term health conditions. Some coaches specialise in one area, while others combine both approaches, so it's worth looking at a coach's profile to find someone whose expertise matches your goals.
Find a habit change coach
Building lasting habits is a journey, and it's one you don't have to navigate alone. If you're ready to make meaningful changes but aren't sure where to start, or you've found it difficult to make new habits stick in the past, a habit change coach can help you explore what works for you. You can find a qualified coach through the Life Coach Directory.
